Inside everyone is a monster of some description. Some are bigger than others. Some are nastier than others. You may or may not of met your own. You may have more than one. Some are undiscovered, waiting patiently to surprise you, while others squirm around like earthworms forever trying to eat you from the inside out.

Watercolour and pen on hot pressed paper.

The most respected of the Cornish Knockers amongst their own are those within the Grand Order Of The Oggie. Wizards, Bosses, Tasters and the wise form their ranks. They are also known as The Big Hats, due to their enormous and often magical head gear. This is the Cow Field Hat. Perfect for a country walk as long as you watch where you're walking.

Watercolour and pen on hot pressed watercolour paper.  Approx size: 6.5 x 4.5 inches (115 x 164mm)

A Cornish sea monster makes a splendid pot of tea in his best china for a visiting diver.

Nice pot.

A Cornish sea monster makes a splendid pot of tea in his best china for a visiting diver.

Framed in a real fake Cornish Sea Monster skin frame.

No real Cornish Sea Monsters were harmed in the making of the frame although I did catch and kill a fake one.

Picture: An original watercolour and pen on hot pressed watercolour paper.

Frame: Vinyl, wood, acrylic and velvety felty stuff.

Signed by Captain Scruff

Approx Frame size: 10.3 x 8.3 inches (260 x 212mm)
Approx picture size: 6 x 4 inches (153 x 102mm)

Mystery Fire Elf +1 is here and he has a message for you! Made with real fire based Magic the gathering cards and real acrylic paint!

A big bold sweary canvas in the swearyfairy series. Acrylic and Magic The Gathering Cards on box canvas.

Tentickles is a two-headed monster but isn't really that scary, although the two heads do have some serious arguments about credit cards and salads.

A little watercolour monster who suddenly appeared yesterday.

Pingping Sha'moo has strayed off the path and knocked into a Nasty Ninja Nest. These buggers really sting. What a silly berk you are Pingping!

Faggots Wilson makes a terrible mistake. He's not watching where he's going and has walked straight under a Chefnut Tree in the middle of Autumn. What a plonker!

Narwally Jacks is sooooo annoyed. These days you just can't go for a walk in the countryside without being pestered by swarms of bloody Cockneys. The little blighters are everywhere, especially near the fizzy wateringholes. Must be the hot summer!

Weehaha White is walking back home to her flat on Killabird Street after taking Meemabun to the park when she stumbles upon a small hive of angry fascists. Now Weehaha knows that not all skinheads are fascists but these fascists are all of the skinhead variety. It will make the description much easier when she phones the council exterminator later in the day! Little pests.

Philip the gardener has come out to weed the flower beds when he stumbles upon an infestation of Zombies among the fuckleflowers. He's run out of Zombiespray as well. It'll have to be boiling water instead!

Some new Weeny World watercolours.

Tiny Eddy disturbs a Zombie nest and expects Big Blue to get him out of trouble.

Watercolour and pen on paper.

You should watch where you’re walking.

Tattoobooll family herd

close up

A family of Tattooboolls thunders across the plain

Tattoobooll

Dragon hide Tattoobooll

A dragon-hide Tattoobooll disturbs a Peanoo from its lunch.

Watercolour and pen.

A Cornish Litany

Commission for a modern remake of the 1920’s Cornish Litany postcards in the Cornish Knockers style.

woooooo wooooooooooooooooo woooooooo

Dry Bones

All Cornish Litany illustrations be they on postcards, wall hangings or decoration include the same or similar text:

From Ghoulies and Ghosties And Long Leggetty Beasties And Things That Go Bump In The Night…Good Lord Deliver Us.

A jolly good saying it is as well.

Colonel Flusturds Puzzling Day

Colonel Flusturd M.H.E., (Monster Hunter Extraordinaire) has had a puzzling day. His super monster hunter senses tell him there should be plenty of the blighters around but from dusk til dawn he hasn’t spotted a single one! Blast it Jenkins, pack up my guns and lets head back to camp!

Watercolour and pen on hotpressed watercolour paper.