The most respected of the Cornish Knockers amongst their own are those within the Grand Order Of The Oggie. Wizards, Bosses, Tasters and the wise form their ranks. They are also known as The Big Hats, due to their enormous and often magical head gear. This is the Cow Field Hat. Perfect for a country walk as long as you watch where you're walking.

A Cornish sea monster makes a splendid pot of tea in his best china for a visiting diver.

Nice pot.

Mystery Fire Elf +1 is here and he has a message for you! Made with real fire based Magic the gathering cards and real acrylic paint!

Tentickles is a two-headed monster but isn't really that scary, although the two heads do have some serious arguments about credit cards and salads.

Pingping Sha'moo has strayed off the path and knocked into a Nasty Ninja Nest. These buggers really sting. What a silly berk you are Pingping!

Faggots Wilson makes a terrible mistake. He's not watching where he's going and has walked straight under a Chefnut Tree in the middle of Autumn. What a plonker!

Narwally Jacks is sooooo annoyed. These days you just can't go for a walk in the countryside without being pestered by swarms of bloody Cockneys. The little blighters are everywhere, especially near the fizzy wateringholes. Must be the hot summer!

Weehaha White is walking back home to her flat on Killabird Street after taking Meemabun to the park when she stumbles upon a small hive of angry fascists. Now Weehaha knows that not all skinheads are fascists but these fascists are all of the skinhead variety. It will make the description much easier when she phones the council exterminator later in the day! Little pests.

Philip the gardener has come out to weed the flower beds when he stumbles upon an infestation of Zombies among the fuckleflowers. He's run out of Zombiespray as well. It'll have to be boiling water instead!